“Ey Up! The Day I Met a Proper Yorkshire Farmer”A (mostly true) tale from Thisledo Holiday Cottage
25th April 2025
They say a holiday in the Yorkshire Dales offers peace, tranquillity and a chance to reconnect with nature. What they don’t mention is that nature sometimes wears a flat cap, smells faintly of silage, and drives a quad bike like he’s auditioning for the next Fast & Furious film.
We’d booked into Thisledo Holiday Cottage in Skipton for a relaxing few days of fresh air, hearty food, and mild smugness at escaping the chaos of city life. The cottage, I must say, was idyllic — cosy, dog-friendly, and just a short stroll to the shops should one need emergency Wensleydale.
On day two, I decided to “go for a wander” — the sort of phrase that feels very outdoorsy but generally involves following a signpost, getting lost, and ending up in someone’s field. Which is exactly what happened.
Enter Farmer Ted.
He appeared like a mist rolling in from the moors — except with more tweed. One minute I was negotiating a stile with all the grace of an uncoordinated goat, and the next, I was being given the kind of squint normally reserved for suspicious behaviour in crime dramas.
“Tha’s not from round ‘ere, are ya?”
I resisted the urge to blurt out something stupid like “How could you tell?” while holding a reusable coffee cup and wearing trainers whiter than snow on Pen-y-Ghent.
Farmer Ted leaned on his stick (which may have doubled as a sheep prodder, walking aid or lie detector — unclear) and gave me the once over.
“I’m just having a walk,” I said, as casually as I could while tangled in brambles and slowly sinking into what I hoped was just mud.
He raised an eyebrow. “That’s my walk. And that’s my cowpat you’re wearing.”
In the end, Ted was friendly in that uniquely Yorkshire way: somewhere between a warm welcome and a subtle threat. He pointed me back towards the footpath (turns out I’d mistaken a tractor rut for a bridleway) and even offered me a lift back to Skipton on the back of his quad bike.
Reader, I accepted.
There is nothing quite like clinging to the back of a quad, flying past startled sheep, with the wind in your face and a farmer chuckling as he hits every bump in the county. It was like Go Ape, but with cow-themed obstacles and a higher chance of landing in something squelchy.
Back at Thisledo, I removed my boots (and possibly some of Ted’s field) and sank into the sofa. A mug of Yorkshire Tea in hand, I reflected on my unexpected encounter.
Would I recommend meeting a real Dales farmer? Absolutely.
Would I recommend wearing white trainers while doing so? Absolutely not.
So, if you’re staying at Thisledo Holiday Cottage, keep your eyes peeled, stick to the path, and if you hear the sound of a quad bike approaching — smile, wave, and make sure you’re not standing on anything sacred.